KARACHI, PAKISTAN - "At first i couldn't sleep for many nights because of all this nightmare," an editor tells you in Karachi. "Now I have become used to it. The situation is desperate, and there is nothing you can do about it."
An East Pakistani friend says: "Can you help me get a job abroad? We East Pakistanis who are living in West Pakistan feel like sacrificial lambs. We don't feel secure - and if we go back to East Pakistan, we will be looked upon as collaborators."
In Lahore, a Punjabi businessman informs me: "We have just passed through a more critical time than the 1965 war. We have foiled a very dangerous Indian conspiracy to dismember Pakistan."
In Islamabad, two East Pakistani passengers and the Punjabi driver of a van have a heated argument over where the two should have got down. After the two leave, the driver shakes his head and says: "Why are we stuck with these emotional, erratic people?"
And an East Pakistani intellectual tells you: "The West Pakistanis have built mountains of deception around them and now cannot see beyond their noses. Lies . . . lies . . . lies are all you hear about us."
So it goes. Visit Pakistan and you'll get dozens of versions of the reasons behind the country's present strife. They all differ but agree on one point - human beings have behaved like savages, and several hundred thousands have been slaughtered and some brutally tortured, including children.

Many People Disheartened

Ironically, despite their great election victory last December, the East Pakistanis now find themselves in the worst situation of the last 23 years of independence. As they see it, their worst fears are realized, and their status as a virtual colony of West Pakistan is confirmed.
The revolt of the East Pakistan Rifles and the East Bengal Regiment has meant that the Army now is all West Pakistani. The revolt of the police in East Pakistan left the province without a police force, and policemen have had to be imported from West Pakistan or recruited from the Urdu-speaking people of East Pakistan.
The desertion of the civil servants have meant that civil servants at all levels had to be imported from West Pakistan to keep the East Pakistan administration going. And the desertion of East Pakistani laborers from their mills and other jobs has meant that even laborers have had to be imported from West Pakistan.
The near unanimity displayed by the East Pakistanis in the last election has meant that almost all the East Pakistanis are under suspicion. Where they have stayed in their federal jobs, they have been transferred to posts where they can do little damage. All Pakistan International Airlines crew members from East Pakistan, for example, have been grounded.
East Pakistanis accuse the West Pakistan Army of genocide - of the selected killing of Bengali intellectuals and of perpetuating a reign of terror so that they will be unable to raise effective opposition for many years to come.
West Pakistanis concede that their Army is in charge in East Pakistan. But they say that the Pakistan Army, greatly outnumbered by the Bengali Rebels and armed Indian infiltrators, had no interest in torturing anybody. The Army just killed the rebels.
Bur the East Pakistanis, the allegation goes, tortured innocent people, including women and children, in the most brutal and inhumane way possible.
It is impossible to talk about the present situation in Pakistan - and not feel personal anguish for what man did to man.
How did this ghastly tragedy happen to a people who had already suffered so much?
What happens now? Will they ever be able to heal their wounds and live like one people? The unhappy situation begs many questions.
Some West Pakistanis are confident that they will be able to remain united. They assert that "India was behind all this and now the East Pakistanis are getting to know the truth. They will be ten times worse off with India."
India denies it had any role in the uprising in East Pakistan and has, in turn, accused Pakistan of deliberately unleashing "a reign of terror" throughout the eastern state.
The East Pakistanis I talked to felt the gulf now was too wide. They argued that, even before the March 25 flare-up, the intellectuals and young people in East Pakistan had begun to favor independence. And now even those who favored continued association with West Pakistan have become converted to the secessionist creed.
One East Pakistani said: "I would like very much Pakistan to stay one. And I am opposed to the Awami League policy. But these stupid people (the Pakistan Government) have played right into the hands of India and the secessionists. It would be very difficult to win over the East Pakistanis now.

Reconciliation Attempted

The Pakistan Government has belatedly attempted a reconciliation by appointing East Pakistani leader A. M. Malik as the province's governor; by removing Lt. Gen. Tikka Khan; and by proclaiming a general amnesty in the province. (The Amnesty does not, however, apply to those elected in the national and provincial elections "and certain other individuals.")
But all East Pakistanis are unanimous that much will depend on the way the government treats Awami League party leader Sheikh Mujibur Rahman, now standing trial. A harsh sentence will remove all chances of a reconciliation.
Even the East Pakistanis who denounce Sheikh Mujib for his inflexibility and shortsightedness and who hold him partly responsible for the tragic civil war say that the East Pakistanis are united on the six-point plan (which calls for provincial autonomy) and regard the Mujib trial as the political trial of the 73 million East Pakistanis.
They felt that if the East Pakistanis get full provincial autonomy they might choose to remain within Pakistan. Without such autonomy, they will fight on.
Many West Pakistanis openly agreed that "now it is an occupation" and no one is certain how long it can last.
Most moderate East and West Pakistanis I talked to were pessimistic - they did not feel the present inflexible Islamabad government had the statesmanship or the intellectual capacity to build bridges.
So the dismal prospect remains of a long war of attrition in East Pakistan with the Pakistan army enjoying mobility and having armor and air support but operating on a different terrain and the East Pakistani guerrillas enjoying the sanctuary of bases in India and swooping down from time to time for ambushes, sabotage and minelaying.

Guerrilla Strength Estimated

Diplomats in some quarters feel that Bengali guerrillas in various stages of training in India now number from 35,000 to 65,000. According to these officials, the guerrillas are armed by India and receive Indian protective covering on many of their missions.
If this be true, it poses grave dangers of a savage conflict between India and Pakistan. Neither country seems to want it, but their patience is wearing pretty thin and there is always the danger of an accidental war. If they do fight, diplomats expect that it will be a far more savage and brutal conflict than the 1965 war and that China and Russia could possibly get sucked in.
Even without an Indo-Pakistan war, the strain on Pakistan will remain heavy with the possibility of an economic breakdown. The Pakistan economy has shown remarkable resilience, and the last year West Pakistani exports increased by 25 percent and greatly helped the foreign exchange situation.
But there was a substantial slowdown in the growth of the gross national product last year to 1.4 percent, compared with the increase the previous year of 6.7 percent.
With a population growth rate of 2.6 percent, the per capita income dropped 1.2 percent. And with many countries cutting off foreign aid to Pakistan, the country could be in real trouble. Most countries now provide only humanitarian assistance or are implementing past financial agreements. Few new aid commitments are likely to be made until the country settles down.
Things are not made any better by the possibility of labor unrest and rioting in West Pakistan.
In a sense, East Pakistan's complaints date back to independence and even before that. There were not many East Bengalis in the Indian civil service or the armed forces so there was and imbalance even when Pakistan was formed in 1947. And it grew progressively worse.
When the Army's Yahya Khan ascended to the Pakistan presidency following a popular countrywide revolt in 1969 against the dictatorial Ayub Khan, free elections were promised. These were held in December last year.
The Awami League, campaigning on a platform of provincial autonomy with the central government controlling only foreign affairs, defense, and currency, won 167 out of 169 East Pakistani seats in the 313-man National Assembly. This assembly was to draw up a new constitution for Pakistan and then serve as its first parliament.
But Pakistan People's Party leader Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto said that unless the Awami League and his party (which is the dominant party in the west) could agree on the proposed constitution and the composition of the government before the assembly meeting, he would boycott the assembly.
President Yahya on March 1 postponed indefinitely the assembly meeting of March 3. East Pakistan responded violently, and the central government authority in that province collapsed. Yahya and Mujib then began talks, but Sheikh Mujib demanded four conditions, including the lifting of martial law and handing over power to the people's representatives, before he would consider attending the assembly session which had been suggested for March 25.
On March 25, however, President Yahya ordered the Pakistan armed forces to restore government authority throughout East Pakistan. He banned the Awami League and accused it of secession. Sheikh Mujib was arrested and is being tried for treason.
Most of the other top Awami Leaguers escaped to India, along with East Pakistani police and troops. They proclaimed the Bangla Desh republic and pledged to fight till victory.
Few people doubt that Mujib in the end did turn to secessionist demands. The question is whether he did so because of a conspiracy with India or because pressure from President Yahya and Mr. Bhutto left him with the choice of either making a public retreat from the six point plan or refusing to budge. Since the Mujib trial is in secret, the truth may not become known for a long time.
In the meantime, it is clear that the East Pakistanis do not believe the West Pakistan version.
What happens now is anybody's guess. There is serious speculation that Sheikh Mujib might be freed as part of the settlement of the East Pakistan problem. It is expected, however, that he will be found guilty and will receive the death sentence. But it is anticipated that the sentence will be commuted.
Both the Indian Government and the Bengali rebels have stated flatly that the release of Sheikh Mujib is prerequisite to any political accommodation in East Pakistan.